"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

and by LOVE HE means????

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

It really is that simple... and that complicated 

that easy and that hard! 

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Im so very proud
I struggle to see the person behind the bad behavior.

When we make our relationship with Jesus about....

 what close we wear

how we worship

that we don't drink

that we go to mass every day

how we find a spouse 

how many children we have

whether we use birth control or not

tattoos or no tattoos

etc...

WE MAKE IT ABOUT SO MUCH LESS THAN IT IS.
and so much more then it is.

RELATIONSHIP
WITH
JESUS

and our relationship with Holy Spirit.
this is how we will be led
and he will lead us all onto different paths!
there is nothing wrong with that!
 as long as Jesus is on that path.

OUR INSISTING ON OUR OWN WAY 
IS KILLING THE CHURCH

God is the God of TRUTH

 the truth is

we live in a fallen, hurting world that needs the kind of healing that only JESUS can give...

and yet the hurting often find even more hurt and rejection when they enter the walls of our churches.
 we may  be the only Jesus our neighbors and co-workers ever see we are the CHURCH!

every where we go we SHOULD be loving the hurting

ARE WE?

An open letter to my young mom friends

A letter to all my young mom friends

So I'm going to let you in on a little secret, its something that slapped me across the face when Luke was around 15....your brand of Christianity is just that, a brand! It is not the one and only way, the things that your denomination touted as "sins" are in fact NOT sin and your children are going to call you out on it, I promise!

So what is a good, tea drinkin, one piece bathing suit wearing, Gaither listenin, homeschoolin mama supposed to do!

Well, here is what I have learned in the past 7 years,

 you listen, 

you are brutally honest (with yourself)

 you admit that perhaps your way is not the only way and you 

FOCUS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS over your commitment to a "brand" 

Your child is going to ask questions that you are still asking yourself, you are going to have to explore those in an honest way,  if you don't They are going to push back. You can not  put a set of rules where Jesus puts a relationship.

I understand that this is terrifying, it is HARD, it brings up past sin and regret in your life that you would do anything to undo and would do even more to protect your kids from. When they start pushing those buttons we go berserk, stark raving mad, white hot unable to see strait, defend our way until we die in order to protect you mode.....it does not work.

This is what DOES work

(no promises here, just what has been true in my life)

give grace, breath, listen to hard questions, admit that you do not have all the answers, 

spend HOURS in prayer and have an honest/raw/real relationship with your kids!

We live in a culture that does not take rules for rules sake well.

They HATE hypocrisy, they crave community, they are starving for authentic Relationships.

 pat answers and made up rules will turn them off to Jesus faster then you can say amen.

So please, I am begging you, for the love of Jesus

before you have one more conversation with your child about hem lines, bathing suits, or music choice, 

have a conversation about how much Jesus loves them (belly piercing and all)

Tell them how crazy you are about them, (and their new tattoo)

invite their new friend who is gay into your home

serve the poor in your community together

invite an international student over for a visit

take care of that cranky neighbor together

Be Silly

Hold them after they have done something stupid, before you punish them.

raising teenagers is the best faith building tool in the business, they will challenge you in ways you never thought possible, they will open your eyes to a world you didn't even know existed, they will keep you on your knees, and if you let them they may even help you

walk in grace, truth and peace as you never have before.

and then one day a child may go out to be Jesus to a bunch of kindergartners in a public school, and you will hit your knees in humble gratitude that you did not insist that your children follow your brand of Christianity, but that you let them love Jesus in their own way.