ever have one of those days that tests your patience?  this was one of those days! first, i woke up late and had no real time with God....then woke my kids up late, found their room to be a huge mess which took them half an hour to clean up which then made our day even later......it took over an hour to do 2 pages of history and most of that hour was filled with waling and gnashing of teeth, in fact most of this day has been filled with ugly words and whining and deep sighs...I'm not saying from who.

I try to find the heart issue, what is going on behind the scenes in this child's heart that is causing this behaviour. the vs. that kept coming to mind...

 "God opposes the proud but gives grace  to the humble"

I of course used this vs. to encourage said child to put others in front of herself and to be teachable, because I'm sure that vs. was for her.....right???

now don't get me wrong, she did need corrected! I'm not saying that we should not correct our children, they need boundaries and they need to know that the world does not revolve around them, but so do we. my anger and reacting instead of responding was also wrong and God needed to deal with MY heart too.

admit it, you can see the tude!!!!

so what did I do? I  took us for a walk :-)

some days you just need a little change of scenery to get a change of perspective. did it change everything?? no of  course not, did it change our hearts just a little, yep:-)

I'm not going to lie, it was a long day (and its only 4:30)!  but I am so glad that I listened to that still small voice that told me I was loosing it and needed to change direction!

some days I wonder if I should have made my kids take piano lessons, violin lessons, dance lessons, soccer......did I do enough to help them be the best they could be?  Most of their childhood  was spent playing in the backyard, making up games, swimming in the neighbors pool and reading books (and not the classics! mostly missionary stories, jedi apprentice, and American girl) they would not sit still for a "Henti" novel to save their lives! they are not math geniuses, will never win "nationals" in anything and some days they COMPLAIN about doing their school work.....

 

my kids work hard some times and are lazy others....they respect me some days and others......well

what the public sees is this

reality is more like this...

or even this

Ever wonder if your good enough? do you ever look at other kids and wonder where you went wrong? comparing your weaknesses to their strengths? I do, all the time!

remember, you see what they want you to see!

I have no idea how God is calling you to raise your kids, I'm sure it will look different then He is calling me to raise mine, but I do know He wants to help you do it, He wants you to be on your knees asking HIM to lead you.

so the next time you are tempted to look at "super mom" and "super kids" please ask God what HE wants for you and your family...and then be content with where HE has put you!

thats the one thing you NEED to do to be a good mom, PRAY, seek HIM, ask for HIS strength...cuz I can promise you, you cant do this on your own!!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. and the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus your Lord.Philippians 4:5-7

if you want kids who love Jesus, grace is your best friend, if your kids feel like they need to be perfect to please you, they will feel like they need to be perfect to please God. I have found that this leads to one of two things....rebels or moralists, they either stop trying or try so hard they think they are better then anyone else, neither points to relationship, both point to self....

having a puppy has reminded me just how impatient I am! my kids were getting older and I had congratulated myself on becoming more patient as the years went on.....

what has REALLY happened is that I have not been tested in the same way as I was with toddlers around the house! now I'm not so much impatient with the dog as I am with the teenagers that promised on bended knee to care for said puppy....and now fight about who has to take her out and clean up after her!!!! and then fight about who gets to hold her when she is sleeping:-)

if I'm honest with myself I act this way all to often? I BEG God for things and then when I get them I whine about how much work they are, or that its not what i thought it would be....

How I long to be like Paul, to be content in all circumstances!

when he was in jail he was able to pen these words...

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

phil. 4:12

one tired mom.....nothing clever to say. very glad that "His grace is sufficient for me" and that "in my weekness HE is strong". tomorrow is another day.

did have a wonderful time grocery shopping with my friend Mindy, who pushed me around in the cart so i didnt have to walk on my leg...goodfriendsarethebest:)

I love that we can have a wonderful time together even if we are just grocery shopping!

Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in ALL your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will direct your path.

I really like the directing you path part of this vs. And I'm usually OK with the whole TRUST Him with all your heart thing, where I get hung up is the not leaning on my own understanding. I mean really if I can't figure it out on my own who is going to do it for me...well other then God... and He is so NOT right here doing my laundry for me right now....just sayin.

I know  I'm very blessed that I have hands and legs that work most the time and energy that HE has given me to do the laundry, dishes, driving, school, cooking, cleaning up dog pee, registering kids for college...sorry I'll stop now:-) you have  the same kind of lives, they just go on and on and on and you wonder does HE really care???

YES He does, HE says so in HIS word so HE must so the question is how do I live a life that acknowledges Him in ALL I do?

I HAVE NO IDEA

Sorry, I will let you know as soon as I find out. But for now the best I can do is to acknolege that I an not in control, HE is and I want HIM to direct me because I know HE will do a better job then me.....every min. of every day is a practice of placing my will back into HIS hands.

just another day in paradise:-)

very glad nothing is broken or torn...just a moderate muscle strain. But I still can't walk very well and need to stay off it and ice it for 3 days.....this fits in so well with my life :-)

God has a way of reminding my that HE is in charge and not me....I hate that:-)

just like when you try to take family pictures an THIS is what your kids want to do, note the look on Lukes face in the background....I so WANT my family to look like this all the time....

but this was after an hour and 100 REAL pictures!

I posted a picture of our first day of school back in sept. I had such wonderful visions of sitting at our school table peacefully doing our work.

but most the time it looks like this....

I found myself getting very angry this morning, one little one thought she needed to sit next to me on the  couch in order to do her work, which required handwriting so I wanted her at the table....20min temper tantrum later (I'm not telling who's) I was able to remember prov. 15:1

A GENTLE ANSWER TURNS AWAY WRATH BUT A HARSH WORD STIRS UP ANGER!

 Wish I would have remembered that BEFORE I chose to speak harshly!

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. prov. 16:24

it is so easy for me to focus on my childrens sins and to gloss over my own.....after all THEY did start it!!

I am the grown up, I need to walk in grace so that they can see what it looks like.....I hate that!  ;-)

anyone Else's laundry room ever look like this????

I spent 2 hours on making Abby's transcript....I'm sure it would have taken a computer savvy person 30min. at the most...sigh. so the laundry room STILL looks like this.

do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may become blameless and pure children of God.....

phil. 2:14-15

just reminding myself...as i pay a bill i should have payed 2 weeks ago, take a puppy for a walk, clean up after said puppy, stop the 22nd fight today, help with school, go to OT for splints for Lily... clean up the kitchen from lunch (which was 2 hours ago)....you have the same kind of days im sure :-)

the captivating power of GRACE

I am not perfect....I know, i know ,this is going to surprise most of you.... :-) my children are not perfect...I know, once again you gasp in shock! Why do I expect perfection out of myself and my kids? Why do I feel the need to LOOK perfect to everyone around me? PRIDE
I was challenged this weekend to create a place for stressed out, tired, hurting, performance driven moms to come and find... Grace....
I want to share my BAD days and my GOOD days. I want to let you know that you are not alone in your struggle to raise kids who love Jesus in a world that is doing everything in its power to get them to love it.
I will try to make it short!  I will most likely spell things wrong and my grammar will never be correct. I pray that by letting you into a moms life who is there with you, has been there where you are and is struggling every day just like you are to live a life that is pleasing to God, you will be encouraged to not give up, to let God heal your heart and refresh your soul.

SEARCH ME O GOD AND KNOW MY HEART, TEST ME AND KNOW MY ANXIOUS THOUGHTS. SEE IF THERE IS ANY OFFENSIVE WAY IN ME AND LEAD ME IN THE WAY EVERLASTING. psalm 139:23-24

do you ever feel like Emma, not really sure you WANT to be seen, not really sure you want HIM to look into your heart? Let me assure you that no matter what HE sees HE is crazy about you and longs to have a closer more REAL relationship with you, HE is waiting for you to come to HIM......BUT I MUST WARN YOU, YOU WILL NOT COME AWAY THE SAME PERSON.

I don't know about you but the thought that God "has searched me and knows me...is familiar with all my ways" (psalm 139:1)  and yet still loves me, makes me WANT more of HIM. It makes me WANT to please HIM.

So, this week lets search and know our kids, lets try to see past their behaviour and into their hearts.

would you spend some time sitting at the feet of our Lord this week? let HIM tell you how loved you are, open yourself up to be known, let the fact that you are HIS child and that HE loves you more then you  could ever know soak deep inside your spirit.....