Life is just to Busy! we ALL need a week in the mountains!

We are SO busy, I mean there are no words for how busy we are as a family! We didnt even realize how busy we were (well Paul did)....then we took a weeks vacation in the mountains and we realized just how fast our lives are!

I home school and yet there are days that I don't spend an hour with my older kids, my college age son lives with me and WEEKS go by when I only see him in passing.

These have been blissful days of late mornings, long naps, big breakfast and suppers together at the same table, hours of card games, good books, quiet beaches, tubing down a river, and beautiful long walks in the woods. We have had adventures TOGETHER instead of our own separate adventures and it has been so good.

I want to bring this home with me, I don't want to start going in so many different directions, But life is life and ours includes 4 different jobs, 12 hours of dance lessons, 2 different college schedules and many different church events.

Life IS crazy, but I will do my best to slow down where I can, to not fill every unspoken for min. and to PLAN time together every day, not just wait for it to happen!

Peace does not come naturally in our culture, it has to be worked for.... fought for!

I will fight a little harder this year, now that I have seen what I have been missing!

And may the Peace of God that  transends all understanding guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I was looking at his picture of my big girls in front of lady liberty and it dawned on me that my little girls are immigrants....I know, I'm slow!

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of you teamming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

lets be honest, America does not want the tired the poor or the huddled masses anymore.

But I know someone who does. My sweet God wants all of us, just as we are. He always has open arms and a light on for us to follow!

I pray that our country never becomes a place where the name of Jesus is outlawed, but even if it does I know a place where I will always be free to worship Him and where we are all welcome!   HIS kingdom.

All my girls are Americans and thats wonderful, but all my girls belong to Jesus' and that is even more wonderful!

Being a Mom is not for the faint of heart. If your a mom you know this. Not only do we get to clean up every kind of bodily fluid on a daily basis we also have to listen as our babies learn to go to sleep on their own.....much harder on us then it is on them!

We have to let them climb when we want to protect them from falling......

If we love our kids we will make sure that their life is not pain free, for pain is a very good teacher.

the other day I had an issue with one of my daughters, she was disrespectful and I called her on it and told her she needed to BE sorry, not SAY she was sorry. ANGER was all I got, not repentance at all. she was supposed to go to a friends house and I really wanted her to go, but after 4 chances and nothing but anger and rebellion I had to cancel the visit.....even more anger.

 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.

This is SO hard to do, we WANT our kids to be happy, its easier to ignore one unkind word or smart remark.....but one turns into 10 very quickly.

To often I take the lazy way out and ignore a sin in my life or in the life of my child, its just a little one, its not that big of a deal. Do I love my child enough to watch her struggle? do I love her enough to hold out for 20 hours as she stonewalls me....do I love her enough to let her not like me???

Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death

I challenge you this week, call sin sin, confront it and do battle with IT not your child. Don't let Satan have a piece of your child's heart because its easier to ignore that LITTLE sin.

I am lazy, so often I fail at this, I know what I SHOULD do I just do not do it. I want to be the fun, cool mom so bad! but that is not loving them they way God has called me to love them.

Whoever disregards discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored.

We as moms CAN NOT let the sins that so easily entangle get a strangle hold on our kids. sin has to be called sin every time, dealt with in a firm but loving manner, trained with direction and grace but never with apathy or anger.

Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.

Gods strength + our weekness = MIRACLES

When I am in the Shadows, the sun seems to be most beautiful!

The soul of the wounded calls for help and God does not regard it as foolish

Job 24:12

Do you ever have days where you are out of strength? Where you are sure if one more person needs something from you you may just explode?

I do!

I used to feel very guilty for those days, I used to feel guilty that I just am not strong enough to handle all the needs and wants around me, I used to feel like I was failing God and that He was disappointed in me....

Now I know better

I can not do this life on my own, in my own strength, I can't, I need HIS strength to fill me up, I need to empty myself giving HIM space to fill me. Oh but admitting my weakness is so hard for me!

letting go of my need to be right had to start with me believing that God loves my ugly, that all HE wants is ALL my heart, not perfect Jesus girl. the problem is i really like being perfect Jesus girl, it makes me feel lovable, strong, powerful and “better”! If I could put my stinkin pride in a box and throw it into the deepest ocean….I would become a scuba diver!! *sigh*

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.

Isaiah 40:11

I'm so very  grateful that God does not expect me to be strong all the time....that He is ready and willing to carry me on those hard days....

HE gently leads me!!!

HE is there, waiting for us

ready to break through the darkness of our self reliance, and pride, ready to fill us up with HIS strength and HIS power.

going on a God hunt

My GOD, with HIS loving kindness will meet me.

psalm 59:10

How do we teach our kids about God? He is so abstract, hard to wrap our minds around, there are really not words that do HIM justice......

BEAUTY

I have found that the best way for me to help my kids KNOW GOD is to help them SEE GOD in the world around them.

I point out the moon..

the flowers

 the water, the trees

Yes, we read the Bible and pray together... Yes, we go to church... Yes, we serve.... Yes, we train to obey.... BUT I truly believe that the most important thing we do to help our children KNOW GOD is to open their eyes to the Beauty in the world around them and instill a gratefulness for that beauty, give credit to our loving FATHER and encourage them to talk to the one who made all this for them.

A God that we EXPERIENCE is a God that is very hard to deny.

If my eyes are on God, HIS beauty, HIS love, HIS grace, HIS power, HIS souvernty, HIS sacrifice then they are off of my self, my problems, my needs, my wants, my sacrifices, my tiredness.

The only way to get my eyes off myself is to put them onto God.

There are many ways to see God working in our lives, answered prayer, divine timing, evidence of HIS care, His help to do HIS work.

Take your kids on a God hunt today, take your own soul on a God hunt today.....you will be amazed at how easy He is to find:-)

love this song...

http://youtu.be/MMZsQQaywsI

limits, love and laughter

I am amazed at how much raising a puppy is like raising a child!

1. A puppy pushes limits all the time.
2. only very consistent training changes anything.
3. you cave once and you pay for it for a week.
4. they really WANT to please you.
5. when they know they are in trouble they hide from you.
6. if there is more then one boss in the room they will revert to the behaviour that the weakest one allows.
7. they are so cute that its sometimes hard to stand your ground.
8. being lazy is not an option if you want to train them right. :-(
9. You need to know what YOU are expecting of them for them to know what is expected of them.
10. Loving them means that sometimes we have to make them unhappy.

And last but not least.....
positive praise works better then punishment.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.Proverbs 15:1

of course we need to use punishment some times but we as moms need to not get lazy and only catch the bad behaviour. its so easy to get busy and only notice when our  children mess up, Lets make an effort to catch our kids doing the RIGHT thing, being kind, helping a sibling, cleaning their room, whatever it is and smile at them and tell them how great they are!

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

prov. 16:24

some times no matter how hard it is we need to stand our ground.

other times we need to comfort!

Knowing when to do what is the work of the Holy Spirit on our lives. It  is only with HIS help that we can do this thing called mothering well!

planting seeds of grace and love in my childrens hearts and my own

What kind of seeds am I planting in my heart and the hearts of my children? To often I know the seeds I plant are those of frustration, impatience, selfishness and self pity.

Heb. 12:14-17

"Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you'll never get so much as a glimpse of God."

Some days I forget to work at getting along with my kids, I want them to obey,work hard on their homework, do the dishes, take care of the dog.....you get the picture. If I have to do some yelling to get that done so be it...right?

"Make sure no one gets left out of God's generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time."

Im afraid that to often my words are the product of the thistles of self rightousness and pride, of frustration and anger, of a discouraged spirit...some days I feel to tired to weed my heart and the thistles start to take over.

"Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God's lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God's blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears."

Heb. 12:14-17

When I respond with anger, what am i teaching my kids???  to respond in anger.....If I play the" poor me" card I am teaching them self pity, when I am discouraged and just give up and let them act in ways that are not pleasing to God I am teaching them they are just not worth the effort.....

Our hearts are just like my garden, if I let the weeds go for even a little while they will take over, I plant good seed, water, make sure they get enough sun, fertalize... and then only with Gods Grace...does good fruit grow . I CAN NOT MAKE THE SEED GROW!

I have seen so many moms blame themselves for the fact that their children are making bad choices, But in the end WE HAVE NO CONTROL OF THEM!

All we can do is go to GOD every day with our children and with our hearts and ask HIM to guide and direct our paths.

 In the end I need to remember that MY heart needs to be directed to my FATHER. I need to plant good seed in MY life before I can plant it in theirs.

This picture breaks my heart, my sweet Lily was so angry, and sad and scared, I wanted to show her how much I loved her but she wanted nothing to do with me.

I really thought that I was prepared for this day, I had sent her scrap books of us, prayed for her daily for a year, I had done everything "right" ! she would run to me with open arms, so glad to have a mommy just like I saw on other peoples videos....I THOUGHT I was prepared...I was not!

 All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” 

In these first days I had such a hard time. I am embarrassed to admit that my pride made me pull away from her emotionally, couldn't she see that we were saving her from a life of hardship and loneliness, how dare she not be grateful! I am a really good mom, she is lucky to have me....

like I said, I am embarrassed to admit that those thoughts went through my mind

After that very hard first day I crawled into bed in tears, begging God to help me understand HER heart.

day 2 with Lily

 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.   Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 

He showed me that she loved her foster family, she did not KNOW that we were going to be kind to her, she was scared and I needed to give her time, and most of all, I needed to get off my high horse, I was not here to "save" her, I was here to accept and amazing gift that God had entrusted me with and I was going to have to depend on HIM for the super natural strength it was going to take to help her through this transition. 

she bonded with her sisters before me...ouch!

 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

just off the plane, finally all together as a family:-)

the devil HATES adoption, he hates it when we as moms know how valuable we are, he wants us to get proud and protective and self-sufficient because he knows that humble moms who love God with all their heart will be his undoing!

Has this been easy.....NO WAY not at all, I have had to trust God for every day... Lily is sweet and smart and loving, and proud, and hurt, and is still learning English, and she gets frustrated that her arms keep her from being able to keep up with her siblings....But she is growing into a wonderful young lady who is trusting in God.

We are an odd bunch:-) just trying our hardest to do what God would want us to do, not perfect, not always succeeding, but keeping our eyes on HIM!

God created our families just the way they are, if we humble ourselves, watch out for the devils schemes and cast all our cares on HIM....we moms will change the world....and that's not proud...that's just truth!

It happened in a flash....

Abby and a friend pretending to work on their dads car.....

Abby in front of her new (10yr old 132,000 miles) car.

It happened in a flash! I know that everyone tells you that it goes fast but no one can really express HOW fast it goes! the days are long and the years are so very fast!

I KNOW, I know,  we NEED to do laundry, cook meals, shop for food, clean the house...I know!!! Im still in the thick of it and I don't have all the answers BUT when your kids are little, in your home you DO NOT need to sit on boards, volunteer to head MOPS, play golf, read bunches of novels, or whatever...there will be plenty of time for that when they get in their own car and ride off....

If you have little ones I know that its overwhelming and exhausting and boring at times and you need to get away, it makes us better moms, Im not saying to never do anything for yourself.....im just saying do it for a little break to refresh your spirit, not because someone guilted you into being the chair of the next fund raiser....you can do that later, I promise!

Feed into their souls now, while they still think that you hung the moon. read to them now while they love to snuggle and hear your voice, take long walks and bike rides now while they have more energy then they know what to do with.

Please know that if you a young mom with lots of little ones tugging at you, it will get better, it is HARD and  I would not go back to toddlerhood for anything...I feel for you, that's why I share my amazing 16 and 14  year olds with so many young moms:-)

Im just sayin....its going to go fast, enjoy every moment you can snatch...

A cheerful, encouraging example.....

I hear myself in my child today....yelling at the dog in frustration, not using consistent discipline....getting angry at the behavior instead of working at getting rid of  it.....

How often do I discourage instead of come along side and help when a job is not done well?

how often do I accuse laziness instead of look to see what I could do to help?

How often do I yell and play the marter...instead of lovingly encouraging better behavior staying consistent in my training?
 How often do I do a task for them and get all mad because I am doing it and they are not?

"why am I the only one who knows how to put a dish in the dishwasher, am I your slave or what????"

TO OFTEN

No I am not their slave...but I am their servant, and they are servants in training, am I being a good teacher?

I long to be a compelling example to my kids, I long to serve them with a cheerful spirit and to train them with encouragement and appreciation, to be a kind and helpful teacher!

I can only do this with HIS power, with HIM filling me up each day....

 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.   Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

rom. 12:11-12

practice makes perfect.....well almost

THEREFORE, PREPARE YOUR MINDS FOR ACTION. BE SELF-CONTROLLED; SET YOUR HOPE FULLY ON THE GRACE TO BE GIVEN YOU WHEN JESUS CHRIST IS REVEALED.

1 peter 1:13

as I read this this morning I was struck that the words grace and self-control were in the same vs.... Just because we live under grace does not mean that we are not also called to action. Yes we need to give ourselves a break now and then and not be so hard on ourselves but we are also called to live lives worthy of HIS calling, lives that are examples of HIS love and power in our lives.

It took years for Abby to be able to leap like this, discipline of stretching every day.....we need to use this kind of discipline with our tongue.....

PREPARE your mind for ACTION, be SELF-CONTROLLED....BECAUSE your hope is in HIS grace not in your performance. I'm afraid that too often I forget who gives me the power, I forget to fill up with HIM before I start a day that is full of temptations to "lose it".... when I do "lose it" I excuse my behavior...."the kids were so bad today",  "I was so tired",  "PMS"...... when in reality I CHOSE to not fill up with HIM and I CHOSE to not prepare my mind, and I CHOSE to want things my way.

Abby could have "wanted" to do this for years but without working at it every day it would have never happened.......

Yes, God gives us grace, please do not beat yourself up for those bad moments, That is not helpful. but we need to also not excuse them, but go to the throne of grace and to our  children in repentance, not in pride......

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble

Ellie wants to be as good as her sister NOW! she is improving ever day but she looks at her sister and wants to be that good NOW.....with practice she will be.

Just like dancing, we can not expect to be wonderful on the first day, and we will not see our progress because it is slow, but week after week, year after year, by placing our will in HIS hands, spending time in HIS word and with Godly woman we WILL grow, he WILL change us. and we will dance for HIM!

had to share these with my blog friends:-)

we took "family pictures" for 5 min until Lily noticed that her sister was missing!!!

she had gone in the back yard to swing and no one noticed

yep, thats me.....best mom in the world!!

WEIRD.....because normal isn't working

Mic. 6:8

 what does the Lord require of you but to do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with you God.

I read this vs. with new eyes this morning....you see, and I know this will come to a surprise to most of you, I am a bit of a control freak perfectionist.....

when it comes to planting flowers I want them all to be symmetrical, color coordinated and "perfect"

this year I gave that up, my girls were all very excited about helping and doing their own thing and I ALMOST stepped in and showed then the "right" way to do it. But God spoke into my ear and (miracle of miracles) I listened for once!!

We had a wonderful time:-) they filled pots I didnt even know I had! 3 flats of flowers later OUR yard if filled with color. MY yard is not perfect....but OUR yard is WONDERFUL!

CONFESIONS OF A CONTROL FREAK MOM!!

what is REQUIRED of us is a lot less then we tend to make it out to be.....

do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with you God.

 Im really glad that blogging and a perfect home is not on that list!

sorry its been so long, remodeled the kitchen and painted the pool last week!

God blesses OUR MESSY lives!

I recently heard a teaching on the parable of the lost son by Tim Keller. its 40min. long but well worth it!
http://thegospelcoalition.org/resources/a/Gospel-Communication

I am convicted that often times I go about my life with a 'big brother" mentality., especially with my kids. thinking (and sometimes even saying!) that I have done everything right, I have sacrificed half my life to teach you and raise you right, I have taught you well..now go forth and be perfect and worship the ground I walk on.....OK, I am not that delusional, but I'm sure that some days that is what my pride sounds like to them and to God.

Why is it so hard for me to see that I can not EARN grace! I want to be able to earn lots of brownie points "stars in my crown" as it were so that then God will bless me, protect my family, make me "look good" to all my friends, well OK acquaintances, my friends all know better:-) Please tell me I'm not the only one who wants to look like she has it all together!

this "idol" of my heart to "look good" to everyone around me is what led me to do this blog. that, and a deep compassion for moms out there who are trying so hard to be "good enough". Can I encourage you that your good enough is different from everyone Else's good enough which is way different from Gods "good enough". So I give you permission to stop trying to be "good enough" because there is no such thing!

Going back to the prodigal son, I am struck at how the father reacts to a repentant heart. I wonder what would have happened had the son come back with money, dressed up, ready to show the father how good he was doing. some how I don't think the father would have welcomed him back in the same way.

Life is hard enough, we all have to much to do and to little time, we all have lots of people wanting a piece of us, the last thing we need to be spending energy on is trying to pretend like we have it all together...I don't, you don't (sorry to disappoint you) and God doesn't expect us to. What HE wants is teachable, open hearts willing to listen to HIS correction and open to HIS amazing love!

The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” 

take heart moms..God takes great delight in you and He rejoices over you!
if there is an area in your life that you need to repent, then do it, believe in your heart that God has forgiven you and go give that kind of love to your kids today!!!

mirror mirror on the wall.....

Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. ⁵ Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, ⁶ who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

2cor. 3:4-6

mirror mirror on the wall....well OK, not on the wall, in my kids.

I was driving with my daughter the other day and she told off every driver who went slower then she thought they should go.....I heard "stupid" come our of her mouth more times then I care to count.....then, with her sweet little Innocent face she turns to me and says...."I drive just like you mom" and she was right!  ouch!!!

For some unknown reason our kids pick up on our bad habits WAY easier then our good ones, I mean really, I put away my close and make my bed ever day....and they have not caught THAT habit yet, it is quite unfair!

first things first, if I do not let God control MY heart I will NEVER be able to show my kids how to let Him control theirs. I am never going to do this perfectly and, may I be so bold, neither will you. this is where Grace comes in. As we except Gods grace in our own life, start opening our eyes to our own sin, repenting of it, and seeing HIM change OUR hearts we will be more able to show that kind of grace to our kids.

today my challenge is to confess to my kids when MY heart is not right. When I  find myself getting irritable, confess it and ask them to pray for me, I want to show them mommy needs the Holy Spirit to work in her life.

care to join me?

remember! we can't do this on our own, It will take a mighty work of the Holy Spirit to get MY heart and tongue under control! I must remember that I am the most real gospel my kids will ever experience, If I am harsh and judgmental  or "holier then thou" that is how they will view God.

anger...our right as a mom?????

I posted the cute video first because the rest of what I have to say is a little hard to hear :-)

He WILL make BEAUTIFUL things out of us and our  children....if we let HIM!

I was convicted this morning by that my "righteous anger" is still anger (and that its really not all that righteous), most of the time I get angry it is because of my comfort, control, pride or self-centeredness!!  So what if i roll my eyes, or huff and puff, or answer in a short impatient tone, I want what is best for my kids so its alright...right????  WRONG!

Do I LOVE my kids...like the verb love....lets see

am I always patient and kind? do I ever envy or boast? am I ever arrogant or rude? do i ever insist on my own way? am i ever irritable or resentful?

 hmmmm, guess I need a lot more work on this!

Now before you go running to your bed and pulling the covers over you head :-) lets remember one thing, we are not called to do this in OUR strength but in HIS. the problem comes when we start doing it on our own, thinking we know best and convincing ourselves that a little outburst here and there is to be expected....

we are human, we will make mistakes BUT we should never excuse those mistakes, we need to REPENT of them, ask God to change us, except HIS grace and go on....

as Paul said in Ephesians

"I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the  calling to which you have been called, with all Humility and gentleness, with patience bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace."

or

 I challenge you mom to walk a manner worthy of your calling, to be humble and gentle and patient with your children, bearing with them in love and making every effort to live in peace with them and let them know that you are on their team.

thank you Susan Kemmerer for challenging me in this area!

for more of this wonderful insite see her book

Homeschool supermom..NOT

some days I wish this was where God had called me to spend all my days.....

BUT this is where He has called me to spend them.....

don't get me wrong! I LOVE being a mom and I love my kids but most days raising 5 kids is just not PEACEFUL! as much as I try to make it that way, the challenges of everyday life tend to steal my peace and my joy.....every feel that way???? please say yes! I can't be the only one!

this morning I got stuck  in James 1 thanks to Susan Kemmerer and her book Homeschool Supermom NOT! 

Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance, perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything.

now here comes my favorite part

If anyone of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

So....I am asking for wisdom today, because I am seriously lacking it ;-) but praise be to God, He has promised to give it to us it we ask for it!

I pray your day finds you in a place where you need HIS power, because really, do you really want to live the kind of life that you could do in your own strength???

you can find Susan's book @ www.shpublishing.com