This picture breaks my heart, my sweet Lily was so angry, and sad and scared, I wanted to show her how much I loved her but she wanted nothing to do with me.

I really thought that I was prepared for this day, I had sent her scrap books of us, prayed for her daily for a year, I had done everything "right" ! she would run to me with open arms, so glad to have a mommy just like I saw on other peoples videos....I THOUGHT I was prepared...I was not!

 All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” 

In these first days I had such a hard time. I am embarrassed to admit that my pride made me pull away from her emotionally, couldn't she see that we were saving her from a life of hardship and loneliness, how dare she not be grateful! I am a really good mom, she is lucky to have me....

like I said, I am embarrassed to admit that those thoughts went through my mind

After that very hard first day I crawled into bed in tears, begging God to help me understand HER heart.

day 2 with Lily

 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.   Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 

He showed me that she loved her foster family, she did not KNOW that we were going to be kind to her, she was scared and I needed to give her time, and most of all, I needed to get off my high horse, I was not here to "save" her, I was here to accept and amazing gift that God had entrusted me with and I was going to have to depend on HIM for the super natural strength it was going to take to help her through this transition. 

she bonded with her sisters before me...ouch!

 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

just off the plane, finally all together as a family:-)

the devil HATES adoption, he hates it when we as moms know how valuable we are, he wants us to get proud and protective and self-sufficient because he knows that humble moms who love God with all their heart will be his undoing!

Has this been easy.....NO WAY not at all, I have had to trust God for every day... Lily is sweet and smart and loving, and proud, and hurt, and is still learning English, and she gets frustrated that her arms keep her from being able to keep up with her siblings....But she is growing into a wonderful young lady who is trusting in God.

We are an odd bunch:-) just trying our hardest to do what God would want us to do, not perfect, not always succeeding, but keeping our eyes on HIM!

God created our families just the way they are, if we humble ourselves, watch out for the devils schemes and cast all our cares on HIM....we moms will change the world....and that's not proud...that's just truth!